Pain

It hurts so much.  But i want it to hurt more.  I want to cut so deep into my flesh.  To feel the skin give way to the blade.  See the blood run free and feel.  Feel the sharp cutting pain.  So sharp and hard. Just cut so fucking hard they have to stitch me back up. 



Am I unlovable?

The Best Is Yet To Come

I have to be free.
She can't have it.  
She can't have me!
I want her to know,  
the best is yet to come.  
When i find freedom,
she'll be the one,
holding her heart,
and hoping it breaks. 

I have to be free. 
She can't have me! 
I want her to hurt, 
And feel my pain. 
It won't be the same,
But i don't care.
She needs to know,
that i was there! 

It wasn't the same, 
She was never there. 
She never hurt
And she didn't care.
I thought i was dying.
I want to be free. 
But she can't have it. 
It has to be me!

I wanted to love her,  
To be my friend. 
But she never loved me,  
Not till the end. 
Now i can't love her,  
Or be by her side.  
And she'll never know me
Or feel my pride.  

From Hannah 

I know i can make it,
And be bigger too. 
I want to be like it,
But never like you!
 You cannot hate me,
 for all that I've done. 
You're not the person. 
I am the one.
You left me dying,
 broken and shamed. 
And now YOU shall live,
To carry the blame.

You cannot forgive me,  
for all I have done. 
You weren't the person. 
For i have done wrong.