Melanie's story

This is a video we made with the help of a friend of ours. One of our insiders is called Melanie, she is 9 years old and this is about some of the abuse she suffered at the hands of friends of the family who looked after her during school holidays and before and after school.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yckRRqPxU4

The Story Behind the Video

In this small sleepy beach community in South Australia her world was turned upside down. While staying there with friends of the family, she was placed in a cage with another girl aged 12. Her name was Michelle Mitchell. They were kept in this cage until the man came for them. He would sexually and physically abuse them and then put them back in the cage when he was finished. We don’t know how long this went on for or how many times it happened. One night Melanie escaped and ran down the beach to hide behind the bridge that leads to the town. She desperately clung to the side of the bridge hoping that her mother would come to her rescue and save her from what had been happening. She didn't.  Instead the man found her and hit her across the head for running away.  He put her back in the cage with Michelle.

Melanie remembers Michelle being shot and dying in that cage. Michelle's blood crept over the cement floor towards her. As Melanie huddles in the corner of the black metal cage, trying to stay away from Michelle’s blood, all she wants to do is curl up and die too, so this will all end.

To Melanie, the blood that we shed when we self-harm tells the truth of what happened to her and Michelle.

Under the bridge runs a river/creek going out to the sea. Richard pushed Melanie into the river. He told her he hated her and wanted her to die. He pushed her head down under the water and held her there about 5 or 6 times. She was gasping for breath. Eventually he pulled her out of the water. She was crying, he said “shut up bitch”. Someone else inside our system took the emotion for her and she stopped crying. She collapsed exhausted on the sand. She lay there for a while trying to get her breath back. He took her back to the shack. He tied her hands to the back of a chair so she was facing it and bending over the front of the chair. He pulled out a cane, and whipped her bottom again and again. He had no compassion. It hurt.

In the Arms of an Angel

This movie is made for the part of us that had to endure being sold for sex at 8 years old. She spent nights alone in hotel rooms with strangers.

  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8Q9-RGqwhk&list=HL1383564804&feature=mh_lolz

Hypnosis

We are a member of many DID support groups online. Tonight, one of the members of one of the groups spoke about how she is upset that the police wont pursue her court case against her abuser due to lack of evidence. They also don't believe she is strong enough to stand up all the cross examination she will have to go through if it proceeds. Once again the victim/survivor is held to account for the perpetrators actions and they go free. In the light of this we are again not happy, and feel the need to set some things straight. We can't do much for the lady online, but we can once again share our truth and hope that in some small way we are breaking the silence, and at the very least setting us free.

This is a big memory for us as it answers a lot of questions, and really shows us the extent of our fathers determination to do this to us. We remember being very very young, toddler age. Lying on a thin bench about adult waist or chest height. Our father was standing at our feet to our right side, and another man was at our feet at our left. There we other people in the room at the time as well. We remember that the man to the left would use hypnosis on us to get us to go into that 'sleep' state so that we would be much more compliant, and they could get us to do what they want. As soon as we were 'under', they would start to fondle us and insert things into us.
We have never coped well with recovery from the operations we have had throughout our life. That place where you are half asleep, but you can hear people talking and feel them touching you . You are not able to do anything and they have control over what happens to you. It is terrifying for us and always has been. We now know that is what it was like when they hypnotised us. We could hear them, and feel them touching us but we couldn't do anything to cry or yell or stop them. After all we were only a toddler surrounded by adults, We had no hope of being able to protect ourselves. When our insider finally showed us this memory, we realised the depths our father was prepared to go to, and that this was no occasional incident that happened when he lost control. This was premeditated and organised. He had educated people helping him, and he was not alone. We also know it profited his business to share us around. We carry the scars.