Tainted Blessings

I have very few good memories of my father. But one has been with me all these years. When we were tired and couldn't sleep, my father would come into my room, he had a special way of getting us to sleep and make us feel it was all ok. It never took too long and we would be fast asleep. For years, we have found this comforting and as usual sleep is never far away. When we are sick, as we are  now, we long for someone to come and sooth me and make me feel loved and comforted, like he used too. It is one of the few comforts we have taken from our childhood into adult life, but now it is gone too. You see my father, Maurie, didn't just want to come and visit us in the middle of the night for his own comfort, no that was too simple and no profit to him. He had bigger plans for us. He could profit from us and make money and friends from what we would be forced to do. But children can be difficult, they will resist and tell others about what is going on. There is really only one way to keep them under your control. Mind Control and programming. Getting a very young child, hypnotising and programming her mind so that you have total control over her actions. With the right codes you can get her to do whatever you have programmed her to do. And yes before you ask, that includes ANY deed they wanted us to do. Mind control at its most evil.
My father had been doing this with us from the time we were a very small baby. What we are learning now is some of the triggers and codes used to set things off. How my dad used to get us to sleep was one of them. Yes we went to sleep quickly and easily, but only because it was part of the programming so that he could have his way with us. Suddenly one of our great comforts is taken from us and we are forced again to see our life as it was and is, in another totally different light. Did he ever do anything for or to us merely out of love, or was everything just part of his evil scheme to abuse and profit from us? Little by little, we are learning that we only have the future and the life we can build for ourselves now. It will always carry the weight and trauma of the past, and we will never be free from his clutches. But bit by bit we will fight to find a life for us in a world that doesn't understand nor accept the truth of who we are. Merely a pawn in a truly evil and sadistic game.