Lying in the centre of a double bed. My arms tired to each of the headboard corners. My new white dress with red spots on.
I can see the bright day light shining through the wide windows near the end of the bed. The door to the left of the room. One man, ushering in the men, one at a time, to do with me as they wish.
He tried to be friendly as he approached the bed. Making comment on my pretty new dress.
I felt restrained, scared, confused and unprotected.
I was 3 years old.
To this day, I can lie in bed and still feel as if my arms are stretched out and restrained. That sense of fear rises in my stomach. For a moment my arms feel as if they can't move, held by remembered ropes. But then I pull them down and remember it is a time long gone. I rub my wrists to relieve the sensation of the tight rope.
I am 50 years old now.
Some things never leave.
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