October (Hell Month)

Everytime I think of October,  the first thing that enters my mind is Hide and Seek. It was held at a house in the hills at night. Outside the house in an open paddock we'd all line up to start.  Children of all ages, naked and afraid.  Adults,  one of them with a rifle,  ready, and excited to follow.  

We were given a headstart to run off into the woods.  The older children would help the younger ones. It wasn't easy running with bare feet,  but we ran into the trees as fast as we could. 

"I don't want to get caught. I hate this game, it hurts so much." 3 year old says.

Then when the time was right, they would chase us. They always gave us all a good head start.  They enjoyed the seeking part, it got them excited. They enjoyed the game. They'd run yelling.."I'm going to get you,  then you'll be mine".

It felt like a thousand years waiting for someone to find us.  We hid the best we could.  "It was so scary,  sitting there trying to be so still and quiet.  Trying not to breathe.

Then someone found us, a man, hot and sweaty,  but excited from the hunt. 

It hurt so much to be laying on the ground, nothing underneath us and that man on top of us.

They were always so excited after spending so much time searching for us, knowing what their prize would be. 

"I was young, but I knew what it would be".

I would lay there and look up at the stars,  just waiting for it to end. "

"I hate them so much. They are selfish, they didn't care for us or how we may feel. It was all about their conquest and what they had achieved. "

"It hurt so much.  I didn't cry. They don't like it if you cry.  I just lay there looking at the stars. "

"I hate the stars,  they just stay there and watch, with nothing to do. Why didn't they save us? "

" it hurt so much,  we were so alone"

Afterwards  we were wrapped up and taken home.  Broken, numb, lost.